While most of us think that we know how to spot the signs of a controlling person, it can become more challenging to identify those behavioral patterns and accept them if we love that individual. However, being in a relationship with a controlling person can be emotionally and physically draining, and unless that person seeks help, or you take the difficult decision to leave them, your life may not feel as happy, safe and full of love as it deserves to be.
Here are just some of the many signs that your partner is controlling you:
They monitor your actions within the relationship and keep tabs on them
This form of controlling behavior is when your partner makes a mental note of every action you’ve taken, and every action they’ve taken, and then tries to make it appear as if they are doing more for you and the relationship, than you are. It will probably never be accurate, and you will never win, and this behavior can be extremely debilitating as time goes by.
They continually criticize you
Every little thing you do, say or even wear, is subject to the criticism of a controlling partner, and gradually they’ll have you thinking that you are not worthy of anyone’s friendship or love because you are so faulty.
They will make you out to be guilty of things
A controlling partner will be skilled at making you feel as if you’ve done something wrong when you haven’t, and even when you know that you’re not guilty of whatever he is accusing you of, when you repeatedly hear it, you are more likely to feel at fault and to question your own, innocent actions.
They may issue you veiled threats
While you may not want to believe that your controlling partner would harm you in any way, or do anything that would be detrimental to your life, some of the veiled threats that they utter could become a harmful reality. And let’s face it, no loving partner would threaten to injure you or cut you off financially for any reason, so this clear warning sign should be taken very seriously.
They will try to isolate you from family and friends
This is perhaps the single most clear sign that your partner is controlling you, and when they begin trying to isolate you from the people that you love and care about, you need to try and talk to someone about what is happening. If you’re fearful that your partner will find out about you sharing your concerns, you could talk privately to a professional counselor and be safe in the knowledge that whatever you say will be kept confidential.
Spotting the early signs of your partners controlling behavior can help you to get away from their clutches and find a relationship in which you will be loved and respected for the person that you are. It isn’t always easy though, and part of a controlling person’s skill is that they know how to manipulate you. Whatever your circumstances, allow yourself to be share your vulnerability with your many loved ones, and if you’re struggling to leave your partner, talk to a professional who can help guide you in finding the safest path forward.
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