Whether you’re in a new relationship, or have been with your partner for many months or years, it’s not always easy to recognize or accept that the relationship may be a destructive one, and sometimes you might end up staying in an unhealthy relationship because you fear the alternative of being alone.
If friends have stopped contacting you as often, or family members have begun to remark that you don’t seem to be like your usual self, it could be that something in your life needs to be addressed before you can get back to being you again.
If a partner may be to the cause, you’ll need to objectively assess the situation and your relationship, before you’re able to determine whether you need to end a destructive cycle in order to move on.
Here are a few indications that you may be in an unhealthy relationship:
- If your partner ridicules you in front of friends and family
- Your achievements or goals are made to appear insignificant
- Your partner makes you feel as if you’re unable to make decisions
- To gain your compliance, they threaten you or make you feel guilty
- They tell you what you are permitted to wear or how you’re allowed to look
- If your partner repeatedly tells you that without them, you are nothing and/or vice versa
- They abuse you physically and/or verbally
- If your partner checks up on you when you’re at work or out with friends
- If they make excuses for their ill treatment of you, and blame drugs or alcohol
If your partner is deceiving you in any way, you can often turn to their friends or family members for the truth. If you discover that some of the story’s they’ve told you are not backed up by others, then this means that they have been lying to you and presenting you with a version of themselves or their activities, which clearly isn’t true. This is one of the most common ways in which a person can manipulate their partner and is a classic indication that your relationship may be a destructive one.
One important thing to remember if you’re going through a tough time with your partner, is that your friends can, and should be, your strongest ally, and allowing yourself to become cut off from them, can be disastrous for you. An overly jealous or possessive partner can quickly make you feel isolated from the rest of the world, and at a time when you really need their support and advice, you may find that your friends are no longer there.
Whether your partner tells you that you should be spending time with them, and them alone, or whether they have gone to the length of spreading lies about you to your friends, be clear that this behavior is dangerous and that they may not have your best interests at heart.
Accepting that your partner is making you miserable, and that you might be better off without them, can be tough, and you may even find it hard to accept, especially if you care deeply for them or believe that they feel the same way about you. To help you come to terms with things and define what action you need to take in a destructive relationship, you may find it helpful to talk things over with a professional counselor.
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