Last week, in my blog post, I asked the question: what kind of child were you?
What I’d propose today is that we talk about a natural child, and a spontaneous adult. The natural child the child who’s in touch with his own needs and feelings, maintaining an awareness of whatever it is he’s feeling. And that child reaches out for support and care for her needs and her feelings. The natural child expresses herself, hoping that someone will be there to care, and offer an attuned response.
The natural child grows into a spontaneous adult, and by that I mean an adult in touch with fear, sadness, anger, joy and celebration. We, as spontaneous adults, are not only in touch with our internal experiences, but we’re able to express our needs and feelings to people around us in a way that invites the other person to respond to us with care.
That to be a natural self, a spontaneous self, is to be in touch with all of who we were and all of who we are, and to be able to hold onto ourselves with care, and to reach out to others for a sincere yet gentle expression of ourselves.
This is the child that we were born to be, but he or she got lost in the relational failures of our childhood, learning instead to comply, to be self-righteous, or to withdraw
We can learn to naturally express the experiences of our childhood and our adulthood, and allow ourselves to be who we really are. We come to know ourselves, and we can discover the world is a place where people do care, in the world can be safe after all. It’s a very healing place to come from.