Hi again. Today, I’m going to answer an important question. What should you and your partner expect when you go to couples or marriage counseling together?
First, in therapy, it’s likely that you’ll experience the frustration you feel in your relationship within a few minutes of being in session.
After all, your partner, the source of your frustration, is sitting right there next to you, and is probably telling the therapist things that you feel aren’t quite true. You might quickly feel that frustration bubble up and even confront your partner with that anger.
When that happens, and it often does, I get involved with the couple and restore a sense of calm in the room, and create a confidence about the therapy. I might share, “Hey, you can fight at home for free. But you’ve come here so that I can help you stop the fighting and rekindle some friendship and tenderness. Let me jump in, because I’m confident I can help.”
Then I’ll jump in and help each person find a voice – not an angry voice that pushes the marriage apart – but a vulnerable voice that draws the couple together, and restores the sense of connection.
And, over the course of a few sessions, I’ll teach my couples how to do that themselves, so that they have a way of talking to each other that invites instead of attacks.
Now, once we’ve got that in place, then we can solve long standing issue and fights in the couple — because communication from a place of understanding — instead of conflict — is transformational.
So, if you’re wondering what to expect in marriage counseling, wonder no more. And whenever the time is right for you and your partner, come in and experience that healing first hand.